It was quite something to see Uruguay sweep Russia today in the World Cup. The Egypt-Saudi Arabia match was more closely contested, being won by Saudi Arabia near the end. Portugal-Iran was minging.
Uruguay had some help in sweeping Russia 3-0. Specifically, Russian dumbass Igor Smolnikov getting a red card (which is like getting ejected from a game by the Umpire in Major League Baseball, your team not being allowed to replace you) for undisguised"passing interference," as they calls it in the NFL. When you are so openly corrupt as FUCKthat theNOTORIOUSLY corrupt as FUCK FIFA calls you on it, that is what the legendary, one and only, Eli Cross refers to as "a bit of cabaret."
Speaking of notoriously corrupt as fuck, I wandered over to one of the local Gaspesian-language channels during the minging Portugal-Iran game. Some Québec version of Emil Hácha croaked. You measure the significance of Québec's varied Emil Hàchas in a couple of ways. Their importance is directly proportional to the all-day coverage Gaspesian media will shower on them on the day of their deaths, and entirely inversely proportional to the number of New Yorkers and REALFrechmen who have ever heard of the late and lamented Québec Emila Hàcha du jour.
This particular Emil Hàcha is said to have created the Québec Ministry of Education. That he is now receiving a postmortem orgy/gang-bang of analingus from hacks of ALLQuébec political parties demonstrates beyond a shadow of a doubt that Québec celebrates bureaucracy and collectivism over individuality. Being born in Montréal, I spent the decades of my formative years in New York, but, for the life of me, cannot name even one New York Commissioner of Education from those decades. This indicates the extremely low regard New Yorkers have for bureaucrats, which is obviously worlds apart from how Québec idolises its bureaucrats.
I am not being hyperbolic when I say "idolise." The Emil Hàcha type who invented the bureaucracy of the Québec Ministry of Education was, apparently a Liberal. Gaspesian TV has François Legault (booted from the Parti Québecois because of his ego like Jean-François Gariépy was, first from Duke, then from the Warski show) and Pauline Marois (ex-PQ premier) fawning fondly over him. It is, as I said, one big analinual fest on a constant loop...except the people involved in said analingus are nowhere near as pretty as Charlie Laine and Jenna Haze.
This Emil Hàcha type is receiving televised post-mortem analingus because he "invented education in Québec" by inventing the Ministry of Education. Locals think this is something to celebrate. This says a lot about the locals. A century before this Emil Hàcha invented the Québec Ministry of Education, there was this decent French-Canadian named Honoré Beaugrand. Honoré Beaugrand went to military school, such as were popular in the whole of Canada, such as it was, at the time, i.e., well before the Ministry of Education was created in Québec. He went on to become a writer...but first, he served under General Bazaine's French Army in Mexico alongside the Foreign Legion. In contrast, products of the Québec Ministry of Education think that the following constitutes "good French."
(Now, an aside. For thems that don't parlez-vous--and there is nothing wrong at all with not being able to parlez-vous, contrary to what François Legault, La Meute and Jean-François Lisée will tell you--the above four noisy abortions of a turd do NOTconstitute good French. The following is what constitutes good French.
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So, it being indubitably clear that the system of education that produced the soldier Honoré Beaugrand a century before the Emial Hàcha du jour shat out the Ministry of Education was far superior to any turd shat out by the Québec Ministry of Education on the macro level, let me head a bit into the micro level. By their own accounts, Gaspesians drop out of high school at a rate of 36%, having the highest dropout rate of any Province in Canada. Yet, they celebrate the Emil Hàcha who created the very system that has the highest dropout rate in Canada. The logic of this must be, "Hey, just so long as it was invented by a Gaspesian, we must celebrate it, even if it is the mother of all embarrassingly bad two-legged abortions." This is a quality that distinguishes Gaspesians from the rest of humanity. I am sure that someone, somewhere has invented the barbed-wire dildo, the diamond-sheet dildo, the 40 grit sandpaper dildo and/or the porcupine quill dildo. Said someone sure as fuck ain't a Gaspesian because said someone sure as fuck ain't being celebrated as a national fucking hero by said someone's own people. If a Gaspesian had invented any of the aforementioned dildos, they would have t-shirts boldly emblazoned with that Gaspesian's image in every gift shop in the Province.
Another aspect of the micro level is the contrast between how education is "done" in Québec and how it is done in New York. In New York, the Department of Education sends inspectors to evaluate schools every once in a while. Before the evaluation, the schools' head honchos and boards ply the evaluators with top-shelf booze, premium blow and Bunny Ranch-calibre escorts. Then, the next morning, when the evaluators are hung over as fuck and begging for more Bolivian marching powder to take the edge off, they are made to draft the written evaluation then and there before powder changes hands. Québec, by contrast, hands out Diktats for educators, not only on the primary and secondary school level, but also on the community college level. Community college professors in Québec have specific written orders about exactly what they are to teach and how they are to teach it with about as much room for discretion as a Dreadnought has wiggle room while passing by Gibraltar. Did I mention that, in stark contrast to New York, community college in Québec (called CEGEP) is mandatory? Once you get your high school diploma in New York, you can apply directly to Columbia or Cornell--or, if you are really, REALLYsmart, SUNY Plattsburgh. Once you get your high school diploma in Québec, you HAVEto go to CEGEP, no ifs, ands, or buts. The Ministry of Education will not allow you to apply to McGill directly out of high school. In other words, the Québec Ministry of Education, in stark contrast to the New York Department of Education, has the power of a Supreme Soviet, and acts in exactly that manner. And here again, we see the stark contrast between the Gaspesians and the rest of humanity. Very few Russians celebrate Yezhov and Beria and very few Cambodians celebrate Pol Pot. Gaspesians celebrate the man who set up a tyrannical bureaucracy that dictates their children's every fart.
Another thing that sets Gaspesians apart from the rest of humanity is as follows. Today, it was announced on the English-language Canadian media that the first Royal Canadian Air Force personnel to deploy to the war zone of Mali have arrived in-country. Unless they really do live in a bubble, Gaspesian media have surely picked this up. After all, Gaspesian media have an opinion every time the current tenant of 1600 Pennsylvania farts, even though he a) does not speak French, and b) has nothing at all to do with Québec. Why is this material to the Emil Hàcha in question? Said Emil Hàcha in question was involved in setting up Mali's current education system, a fact that is being put on blast during Gaspesian media's analingus loop of said Emil Hàcha today. Now, given that Mali is a war zone from which people are fleeing, anyone else on the planet today would be downplaying any role one of their own had in setting up Mali's education. Not so the Gaspesian media.
Now, this is most definitely NOTa shot at the people of Mali. Sure, some of them have fired on and bombed REALFrench troops deployed to the country as part of Operation Barkhane. But the ones who ain't busy unloading ordnance against French troops generally make for better Frenchmen than does the average Gaspesian. For one thing, Malians--even the ones who are anti-French--generally do NOTsay "OSTY DE COWLIS DE TABARNAK!", and generally do NOTbehave in the manic, histrionic, popping-like-a-pinball-machine-on-the-DSM-IV-level batshit-fucking-crazy INSANEway that Patrick Huard, Guy A. Lepage, Jean-Louis Houde and Mariloup Wolfe do whenever they are in the public eye. This is true of, not only most Malians, whatever their political disposition, but it is also true of most French-speaking Africans as a general rule.
So, folks, in a nutshell, this is Québec for you. Is it any wonder that the highlight of my day during yesterday's "Fête Nationale du Québec" was Harry Kanescoring a hat trick, and the Three Lions winning 6-1 over Panama?
And, now, I want to end with a couple of plugs.
I first heard of this group on TSN 690. They are called Hockey Helps The Homeless, and they raise money for homeless people by hosting hockey tournaments featuring National Hockey League players and ordinary civilians.
McLaren alumni Sergio "Checo" Perez is collecting money for the victims of the recent earthquakes in Mexico through his foundation.
Puerto Rico has been devastated by Hurricane Maria. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has set up The Empire State Relief And Recovery Effort For Puerto Rico.
On the subject of Puerto Rico, Los Angeles Chef José Andrés has set up an organisation, called World Central Kitchen, to help feed the hungry, not only in Puerto Rico, but in other bad-off places in the world. Please donate or help if you can.
I also want to plug the Patreons of a couple of superb folks. First, there is Jordan Owen, superb musician and content creator. Then, there is Sunny Megatron, Sex Educator and Podcaster. And there is also director extraordinaire and podcaster Holly Randall. They are, all three, highly entertaining to watch. They have the charm and magnetic charisma of The Kylie Ireland Show podcast of a decade ago, starring the legendary, one and only Kylie Ireland and Eli Cross.