I had a marvelous Fête Nationale (Québec's "national" holiday on 24 June, formerly Saint John da Baptist Day.) The key moment of the 2018 Fête Nationale for me was when Harry Kane of the Three Lions scored a hat trick, the team defeating Panama 6-1 in today's World Cup match. Japan and Sénégal was minging, as was the first French Formula 1 Grand Prix in years, with Sergio "Checo" Perez, Pierre Gasly and Estaban Ocon DNFing and McLaren not even scoring one point. The Bronx Bombers, however, put up one hell of a fight against the Tampa Bay Rays in Major League Baseball, and Colombia wiped the pitch with Poland, 3-0 in the final World Cup match of the day.
What does Harry Kane and the Three Lions winning have to do with the Fête Nationale? First, let me explain the Fête Nationale for thems not familiar with Québec, which is most likely most of the population of this planet. It is as if New York, immediately to the south of Québec, needed a day to celebrate itself. Being born in Montréal, but bred in New York, the latter was the stronger influence on me. New York does not need to celebrate itself because New York is the undisputed centre of the universe.
The Fête Nationale is supposedly this all "French" thing...except that REALFrenchmen will look at you funny if you run up to them and shout "OSTY DE COWLIS DE TABARNAK!"
During dull moments of the Yankees-Rays and Colombia-Poland matches, I wandered over to one of the local channels, where they were re-broadcasting an all-"French" concert from last night, playing "traditional" Québec music. You know that this is the equivalent of a Klan rally when there are no songs from the late Montréal icon Leonard Cohen, respected around the world, as far away as Australia and the Republic of Ireland, but not good enough to be considered in Québec's Fête Nationale.
One of the hosts was this local hack actor who, unlike Denis Menochet, does not regularly appear in filims outside his birthplace. He was talking a lot about Québec "heroes." He mentioned a lot of names. Names he DIDN'Tmention include Joseph Kaeble, Paul Triquetand Raymond LaBrosse. Now, I can understand how these three gents would be politically embarassing in Québec today. Joseph Kaeble was of German descent, and therefore, not a "pure laine" although he spoke French. Paul Triquet and Raymond LaBrosse fought AGAINST people like François Legault, Jean-François Lisée and Jean-François Gariépy. Yet, these three men were not alone among those omitted by the hack actor. This hack actor, you see, mentioned not one single soldier, sailor or airman. Tells you how Québec defines "hero" right there.
Then, there was this Québec singer Mitsou, who sang a couple of her "French" songs. Now, why am I being mean and putting "French" in parentheses when I describe Mitsou's songs? The titles of the songs tells you everything.
"Bye-Bye, Mon Cowboy!"
"Lettre à un cowboy."
Now, in Québec, you can get nicked if you use the word "pasta" in a menu, or if you greet customers with "Hi!". But "cowboy" and "bye-bye" are considered 100% acceptable "French" in Québec.
So, no, it is not a language thing. It is a skin colour thing. The gentleman in the video below sings entirely in French, but he would be banned from Québec by Legault and Lisée because he is Hispanic.
Harry Kane and the England's national soccer/footy team most likely never heard of Québec, and one would not be off by saying the same of most Frenchman and of most Americans.
But damn, Harry Kane does not lie about what he is. Harry Kane being reviled in Québec because his country kicked Québec's ass in 1759, just as he kicked Panama's ass today, makes his hat trick the most memorable part of the 2018 Fête Nationale.
And, now, I want to end with a couple of plugs.
I first heard of this group on TSN 690. They are called Hockey Helps The Homeless, and they raise money for homeless people by hosting hockey tournaments featuring National Hockey League players and ordinary civilians.
McLaren alumni Sergio "Checo" Perez is collecting money for the victims of the recent earthquakes in Mexico through his foundation.
Puerto Rico has been devastated by Hurricane Maria. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has set up The Empire State Relief And Recovery Effort For Puerto Rico.
On the subject of Puerto Rico, Los Angeles Chef José Andrés has set up an organisation, called World Central Kitchen, to help feed the hungry, not only in Puerto Rico, but in other bad-off places in the world. Please donate or help if you can.
I also want to plug the Patreons of a couple of superb folks. First, there is Jordan Owen, superb musician and content creator. Then, there is Sunny Megatron, Sex Educator and Podcaster. And there is also director extraordinaire and podcaster Holly Randall. They are, all three, highly entertaining to watch. They have the charm and magnetic charisma of The Kylie Ireland Show podcast of a decade ago, starring the legendary, one and only Kylie Ireland and Eli Cross.